This book should be read by the psychotherapists, for which it is intended, and also by anyone, male or female, who wants a better understanding of why men are the way we are.
David Wexler Guide, therapists looking for new opportunities based itself on research and his own experiences as a father, husband, and no understanding of women man, to offer their male customers.
If the book has a limitation is that while brilliant for the clarification of the male spirit of the past two generations or so, it hardly speaks to current young men, which I believe, in contrast to their fathers and grandfathers are that they have little difficulty expressing emotions, to identify changing diapers or her feelings.
These were older men not show feeling withhold any tears and never admit brought vulnerability or sensitivity. As a result, Wexler writes if they are annoyed that they do not realize the feelings of loss, grief and depression, for example. Instead, they experience anger.
A man of anger, fear of abandonment by a woman, only serves to alienate that which he loves very person. In the chapter on relations, Wexler guides offers to dealing with the underlying fears that such a man is not even aware.
Several chapters have lists of rules. In the section about men, the abuse of women the author provides nine rules. The first is very good (although modern men, despite or perhaps due to adapted to their feelings, is largely seem to ignore): "We are all 100% for our own behavior responsible."
But how can a misogynistic woman-beating guy accept rule two: "Violence is not acceptable solution to problems"? America is steeped in violence as a solution to problems. This was the reason for the birth of the United States. It is what the white hat used Cowboys against the black hats. It is the excuse for the invading Grenada, Iraq, Afghanistan. It is the justification for the right to bear arms.
While the book over a wide area is something about the author's justification for his credentials for writing in the chapter has "when women treat men" me restless. He admits, "I'm a little uncomfortable writing this chapter." I would feel (as a white man) presumptuous a chapter writing about the experiences of African-American therapists face in the treatment of white men... "[There is a chapter on white men treatment of"Men of Color"]." Then he goes to announce ".." I have many female therapists.. .over of the years, I co-led monitors have groups with many female therapist, I have reviewed many articles on the topic of female therapists, I have in the therapy with female Therapeutenund I have a wife, is the female therapist. "
Many other instances of self-disclosure of the author activate (male) reader to identify a good father to the son with known issues, such as self doubt about that.
Wexler's extensive experience in the treatment of men individually and in groups instills the text with his pithy labels Declaration enlightening a large amount of unforgettable rendered (such as "broken mirror" the Mummy does not reflect back to her son what the young want to see) list (such as "the four pillars of intimacy") and references to books, Movies and TV shows (particularly the Sopranos).
Each chapter is a stand alone. Not surprisingly, since the depression is largely from a previous book by Wexler chapter and the first chapter appears to be a research paper with jerky reading, because almost every sentence ends with a reference.
Wexler warns against the transfer and counter transference. But elements of many psychological approaches in addition to psychoanalysis are interwoven in the text. Such as attachment theory, cognitive dissonance, control and mastery, feminist theory, family systems, CBT, even Zen Buddhism.
I am so impressed by this book that I prescribed female customers have it together want to better the men are in their lives.
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